Women In Art Having An Existential Crisis Shut Up I Need To Think

Carly Syms -

Team Lead for Marketing & VIP Customer Service

Please note this piece was written by our tour guide, Kate Villa, in the style of a Museum Hack experience.

Seriously shut up right now also what exactly is an atom made of oh my god are we just all something that could be swept into the space-time continuum? Will we combust? Will the earth be able to sustain life for thousands of years? What is life? How long is forever? DOES THIS SKIRT GO WITH THIS WHALEBONE CORSET?

Berthe Morisot (French, 1841 - 1895 ), The Mother and Sister of the Artist, 1869/1870, oil on canvas, Chester Dale Collection
Berthe Morisot (French, 1841 – 1895 ), The Mother and Sister of the Artist, 1869/1870, oil on canvas, Chester Dale Collection

“I’m not saying that you reading is a sign of non-complacency instead of just giving into the inevitability of the world, I’m saying that we’re all going to die. Probably soon.”

“Please stop talking it’s hard for me to concentrate, also your bow is askew.”

“No one will care about my bow when we’re all underground with the worms.”

Mary Cassatt (American, 1844 - 1926 ), Woman with a Red Zinnia, 1891, oil on canvas, Chester Dale Collection
Mary Cassatt (American, 1844 – 1926 ), Woman with a Red Zinnia, 1891, oil on canvas, Chester Dale Collection

“He said I was like a flower. Flowers are pretty and delicate. They’re also all going to fall apart piece by piece, littering fragments of themselves all over the ground while others walk all over them and eventually they’ll be bald and then wither up and be no more. Feels right.”

Bernardino Luini (Milanese, c. 1480 - 1532 ), The Magdalen, c. 1525, oil on panel, Samuel H. Kress Collection 1961.9.56
Bernardino Luini (Milanese, c. 1480 – 1532 ), The Magdalen, c. 1525, oil on panel, Samuel H. Kress Collection 1961.9.56

“You want to know what’s in here? My hopes and dreams. Oh shit I let them all out ok well there goes everything.”

Ercole de' Roberti, Ginevra Bentivoglio, Italian, c. 1455/1456 - 1496, c. 1474/1477, tempera on panel, Samuel H. Kress Collection
Ercole de’ Roberti, Ginevra Bentivoglio, Italian, c. 1455/1456 – 1496, c. 1474/1477, tempera on panel, Samuel H. Kress Collection

Exterior: Looks serenely out the window

Interior: SCREAMING

Claude Monet (French, 1840 - 1926 ), Bazille and Camille (Study for "Déjeuner sur l'Herbe"), 1865, oil on canvas, Ailsa Mellon Bruce Collection 1970.17.41
Claude Monet (French, 1840 – 1926 ), Bazille and Camille (Study for “Déjeuner sur l’Herbe”), 1865, oil on canvas, Ailsa Mellon Bruce Collection 1970.17.41

Him: “Hey cutie can I talk to you for a second.”

Her: “Sir, I’m late to sit on a cliff and stare over the vast ocean contemplating how large the universe is and what specks we humans are in comparison to what defines the billions of lightyears that extend between us and the end of the sky.”

Him: “K maybe you can come over for some Netflix later?”

Her: “But what is time? How do we quantify ‘later’?”
Him: “K bai”  

Edgar Degas (French, 1834 - 1917 ), Madame René de Gas, 1872/1873, oil on canvas, Chester Dale Collection
Edgar Degas (French, 1834 – 1917 ), Madame René de Gas, 1872/1873, oil on canvas, Chester Dale Collection

“There goes another leaf. That’s number 1,679 from that tree. The earth is slowly molting. We’re all doomed.”

BY KATE VILLA, TOUR GUIDE

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