Son, I think it’s time for us to have the talk about the birds and the bees and the third eyes.
You’re going to start liking girls, or guys, soon. So let’s talk about what that means.
Women are beautiful. They are full of curves and angles and blobbies and teardrop shapes and rods and squiggles and clusters of bulbs.
And, sometimes when a man feels something for a woman, he gets kinda uncomfortable, in a good way, in a long oval shape, which can be found somewhere on his body.
Then she might bat her eyelashes at you which also might be on her hips which are next to her perfect circles which is also next to the stringy stuff – and that’s all below her half moon.
If a man and a woman love each other very much the stringies mix with the tear drop blobs next to the squiggle frizz and then they touch together their rectangular offshoots and if you’re lucky you’ll see a little nip. Or three.
Anyways, then if you are really looking for it you can find her mouth but also maybe not. And she may or may not have legs. But she’ll definitely have that droopy blob, so watch out for those.
Then you’ll see a cone around an oval, and then a circle around a twist and then a rectangle. This is when you both start having a great time. If there are rods shooting out of where her head should be, you’ve gone too far.
Son, you’re a man now. Make sure to treat women with respect. Their bodies are sacred also I’ve never actually seen one according to many of my paintings.
BY: KATE VILLA, TOUR GUIDE AT MUSEUM HACK
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